Janet's the cute brunette, you see. She works in the dental clinic.

And I'm the balding computer jock, with a penchant for the cynic.

I know that I'm in love with her, for I've been this way before,

But I'm frozen in fear and worried to death that she'll find me a crashing boor.

She flossed my teeth five weeks ago, bent over me with eyes flashing,

But I'm a'feared, with my Saturday beard, I wasn't exactly dashing.

So I'm in check on the matter of sex, I'm pursuing a course of espousal,

There's a difference, y'see, 'tween excitement, for me, and the common form of arousal.

Two cards, two sets of roses, and a dwindling line of credit

Got my appetite to a Saturday night, when we sat, and talked, and fed it.

Then down the street to a movie we went, where she gazed at the images there,

But I sat tight for the rest of the night, stealing glances at her hair.

After, it's off to the caff we went, for coffee and carrot-cake stuff.

I probed. She parried she'd never be married - that once was more than enough!

She weakened a bit as I made my hit, said "He'd have to be sexy, have riches".

I knew what she meant, but my money was spent. I'd just seventeen bucks in my britches.

I saw her home to her front door step. She didn't invite me in,

And it's just as well, for those fires in hell were stoked up for my sin.

I got in my car, drove home, not far, just sat on my couch, and thought

For most of the night that I wasn't too bright if I thought that she'd been caught.

Now it's Wednesday evening, and I've held off from pestering her on the 'phone.

I sit at my desk and I write the cheques, and I sit here all alone.

Tonight at nine I'll tie up her line, and see if there's business pending,

But it's hard to wait when you're forty-eight, and you feel that your life is ending.