Greaves’s Groves

Saturday, October 25, 2008

12C and light rain. A perfect day to assemble all the house plants outside, top them up with soil, stand them in the old hamster tray and give them a good drench, then drain them (on the old humidifier grates) and stand them on the balcony. No one will know it isn’t rain.

While they drain, consider the next six months of snow-bound dark days and even darker nights.

Also it’s time to get rid (shudder!) of those scraps of book shelf that have been propped up against the door these past 12 months.

What to do?

That avocado, mango or whatever sprouted in the ugly thin-plastic tub scoured from the dumpster out the back of Plant World, toppling over on a shallow saucer just isn’t going to satisfy you and your brand new living-room carpet (computer beige, since you ask).

What to do?

Well, it’s funny you should ask ...

Don’t toss out those old (everything seems to be getting old nowadays) apple pie trays you’ve been using all summer.

“Management Measures”.

Measure them!

This one is nine inches diameter.

Grab a stack of pieces of old coffee table..

See the slots where the beading used to live? Keep a beady eye on the beading; I’m not throwing it out. That might be Real Gold!

Each plank was 24” long, I figured I can cut them in half and still accommodate a 9” saucer.

Notice that I’m not crash-hot at sawing. Each piece of wood varies in width from its neighbor. We’re going to hide that, but don’t tell anyone. I don’t want this to be public knowledge.

I gingerly (the cat being out of the way) set up four planks; the saucer fits, and the tape measure tells me that “nine and a half inches should do it”.

Remember my rotten sawing skills?

I align all the planks with the bead-slot edge DOWN, so that all measurements will be equidistant from the bead-slot edge. I want the top edge of the boxes (the bead-slot edge) to be level all the way around.

No one will ever know our little secret!

I measure in nine and a half inches from the same end on each plank.

I mark the line with a cabinet makers try-square.

I am prone to get things out of whack. I have learned to assemble (in this case) all eight pieces and process them mechanically.

I measure in (from that bead-slot edge, always) two inches and eight inches.

I drill the two screw holes in each plank, and then brushing off the sawdust, carry them through to the kitchen.

“Management Measures”. Even though this is just a fill-in-time-until-lunch project, Inventory Control is a vital part of every project.

Once the planks are wiped down with a cloth soaked in detergent and warm water (the pencil lines erase quite easily), I carry them back to the workshop.

Cats can count with their ears, apparently.

Now it is time to assemble the first four planks into a plank-box. Sorry, “Plant Box”.

Please note again “Bead-slot edge down”. Once the four planks are screwed together, the bead-slot edges will be flush.

And I’ll be flushed with success.

I’m using number 8 wood screws, one-and-a-quarter inches long. Rounded heads. It’s all they had the day I was in the store ....

All four planks are screwed in. Time to check that the saucer still fits.

(If it doesn’t, we do not consider our effort to be wasted; we’ll just pop across to Bruno’s and buy a smaller pie).

Flip it over, and press the beading in place. We cut our 24” planks in half, so the beading overhangs.

Flip it over and get ready for hammer-and-chisel time.

Whack ! Whack! Whack ! Whack!

A sharp knife helps us make the final cut.

And here it is, sitting on the workshop floor, neat as apple-pie, but with an avocado. Or mango. Whatever.

Not bad for a morning’s work.

Jupiter slept through it all.

Here’s a close-up of one of Greaves’s Groves. This is a cluster of lemon pips. Or they might be grapefruit. Or orange. Whatever.

I can’t wait to show it off to my neighbors.

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