First Trip to Paris

So, you thought you’d be like a real Parisean and sit on the Champs Elysee for two hours watching the scene but the waiter bumped you out of your seats five minutes after you had paid you bill?

So, people in your local café seemed sullen, when you’d heard that they would be friendly?

You loved the subway, and spent the entire two weeks underground because you didn’t understand the logic behind the bus route numbering?

And you never enjoyed the ten thousand square kilometres of the Île de France and the Transilean network, nor any of the 5,000 suburban bus routes?

And to top it all off, although you learned French in High School, you still don’t know when to use “Bonjour” and when to use “Bonne Journée”.

Hah! Dis donc!

Tiens!

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Thursday, August 05, 2021

Language

Everyone knows “Bonjour!”, but that is all they know of “Bonjour!”. Classes in the French Language do not explain when to use the word, and in particular the level of politeness in the community that makes it mandatory to introduce yourself whenever you enter an enclosed space.

Every English word that ends in “tion” is the same in french (and Spanish!) and is feminine in Gender.

England was invaded by the Normans in 1066 who imposed Norman (Normandy) French for court and legal matters. A seond invasion took place between 1200 and 1250 when an advanced Norman dialect from Paris was layered over the island. English contains not only the short Anglo-saxon words of the inhabitants (“I will kill you!”), but also the longer words that arrived via France from the Latin language (“I will assassinate you!”). If you are seeking to be understood in France (or Spain), use a longer word rather than a shorter word.

Parisians use The Metro to get from A to B in the shortest time possible. Parisians are not tourists. You are a tourist. You want to see paris. Avoid The metro which rattles along in soot-stained tunnels away from rthe sights of Paris. Use the buses. They run above ground in the springtime sun, and you see paris on your relaxing way to The Louvre or The Eifell Tower. As well you can chat with the lady sitting alongside you.

Buses: Paris has a wonderfully logical route numbering system, although at first glance it is random. Find Gare St Lazare on your bus map. What route numbers service this station? Find Porte d’Orleans on your bus map. What route numbers service this gateway? If your hotel is near gare du Nord and gare de l’est, what routes will get you home when your are foot-sore and fatigued?

Île de France: When you land at CDG, buy a one-week navigo pass for five zones. “Bonjoiur madame! S’il vous plaît, une semaine, cink zones” and slide across your credit card. Enjoy the Transilean netwrok like I did (2014, 2016)

Train schedules: There are two types of trains: Hourly and frequent. When you arrive at Monteeeau check houirly deparetures before you exit the station. Now you know whether you should sit withg a coffee while you wait for the train. In Chatelêt-Les-Halles the next train is sliding into the platform before the previous train has left the platform. Mid-afternoon at Maisons Laffite trains run in both directions every ten minuts. Relax!