2017-08-04 Fri

Clear Thinking

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It can be difficult to separate logical thinking from emotional thinking. I suspect that many judges wrestle with these sorts of issues nightly.

We of the general public are free to think what we will, and when the decision boils down to “... absent some relation between you ...” it could be argued that if the teenagers, as humans, felt no relationship to the drowning man (another human), then perhaps the teenagers aren’t really human at all.

That being the case the argument could be made that they could be ground down and turned into cat food. Or Dog Food. I meet some very friendly dogs when I am out walking ...

It seems to me that it would be close to impossible to define a relationship. For example:-

(1) My mother and father are quite clearly related to me. As is my sister.

(2) My aunts and uncles and cousins are related to me.

(3) My second cousins three-times removed are also related to me.

(4) Throw in all the in-laws who, like it or not, contribute to the success of my genetic offspring.

(5) Also the lady my mother told me lived in Vancouver or Victoria B.C. This was long before I ever thought of living in Canada. She is known to be of blood lineage to me, but I don’t know her identity, and have never met her. In the street she would be a total stranger to me, but there is no doubt that she is related.

(6) Does she stop being a relative of mine just because I have never met her?

(7) And what about the nice man who runs a bike shop in Adelaide South Australia and makes sure that my sin cycles to work safely on a well-tuned bike?

(8) Then there’s Richard Dawkins, world famous ethnologist (I think that’s right). He writes in his book “River Out Of Eden” that I am related to him.

I am, fact is, related to every living creature on the face of this earth. That ant you trod on yesterday is a relative of mine.

You think not? Then how much more the drowning human?

Quiet Day in the News Room

When things are quiet in Australia, the newspapers run the latest story about Bear Attacks in the Other Colony.

And when things are quiet in Canada, the newspapers run the latest story about Shark Attacks in The Other Colony.

I speak from fifty years of observations in both colonies.

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So you can bet that this story will be copied in most major papers across Australia.

Shudder! You won’t catch ME going to Canada! The wildlife there can kill you.

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Of course, if the column inches are not quite up to it. The last sentence, or the last paragraph might be trimmed.

I am a bookish sedentary chap, and can easily scare off a two-month old bear. For all I know I could possibly still drop-kick it a la Aussie Rules. Providing that the mother bear isn’t around.

But listen! You’ve read stories about deadly spiders, snakes and jelly fish. Not to mention the power of the sharp claws on Kangaroos and Emus.

Stay close to home this summer ...