2016-12-31 Sat


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Every day, it seems, a New Tree.

Back on Thursday , just two days ago, I documented that back on Monday 19th December I documented Chris’s Sure-Fire Method of Growing Citrus Trees.

Well, yesterday I spotted a third shoot!, top-right-corner of this photo.

The first Sapling (!) is bean-stalking out of the shot to the left. Thursday’s shoot has Unfurled Its Solar Panels to begin its first batch of Plant Sugar Production.

Shoot number three is shouldering off the remaining bit of soil-matter.

You want Citrus Trees? I got ‘em!

My wasted life

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Next year marks the completion of the first fifty years of my love affair with Computing Technology. May 1967.

Slow-forward to today.

I have a Bank Montreal (“BMO”) Chequing Account and a BMO Travel Card Account. The Travel card was useless the only time I used it to travel. I went to Poissy for three weeks and the card was useless there because the card does not have a Chip.

So on my return I emptied out the account.

Then I got dinged for an annual fee of $6.95, so I paid that by an Online Banking Transfer from my BMO chequing account to my associated BMO credit card account. What could be easier?

Then I cut the card in half. (One half goes down my garbage chute and the other half goes into a garbage bin on Yonge Street, along with my paranoia)

Then I phoned BMO and asked that the card account be closed, and they said they’d do that, and that they would also refund the Annual Fee of $6.95 that I had just paid.

“Great!” I said, also “Thanks very much!”.

Next time I went to do online-banking I found $6.95 in my now-closed BMO credit-card account. I couldn’t move the $6.95 back to my BMO chequing account through online banking because (Duh!) the BMO credit-card account is officially closed.

Nothing for it but to walk, off-line, into my local BMO branch and ask that someone whip the $6.95 electronically from the dead account into the live account.

Can’t be done!

Can’t be done because the credit-card account is closed.

Get on the phone? I suggest.

Clerk gets on the phone.

Can’t be done because the credit-card account is closed.

Huh? BMO was quite able, using its own computers, to transfer the money into the closed account, but its internal wizards can’t back it out again and return to where it came from. I mean, we aren’t dealing with an exo-deposit from Aunt Griselda’s account at First Grumblers bank of Des Moines, Iowa here.

We are talking about reversing a seven-millimetre transfer I made within the bailiwick of my two BMO accounts not seven days previously. It’s just me and the BMO.

Turns out its just me.

All that BMO can do is have someone cut a Paper-Cheque (felling yet another pine tree) and pop it into a paper Envelope (felling yet another pine tree) and sticking on a paper Postage Stamp (felling yet another pine tree) so that I can open the mailbox in my building, and then walk, offline, right back into the same local branch of the BMO and use the ATM to deposit the bloody piece of paper.

Am I going crazy? Is this the onset of Early Dementia? And if so, is it in me or is it in the Bank of Montreal?

Another good reason not to take a vacation in the Province of Quebec.