2016-03-08 Tue

Service Not Canada

Yes.

I’ve had another run-in with the charlatans.

Last November I telephoned asking that my two pension payments (CPP & OAS) be redirected from the RBC account to a BMO account. Still Direct Deposit, but to a different bank, please and thank you.

‘Twas November 18th and the nice (as I thought then) young man told me it wouldn’t take effect for the payments at the end of November, but would be in effect for the payments at the end of December.

Fair Enough, I thought.

Well, November slid down the drain, as did most of December, and then I found the CPP in my BMO account (Good!) but the OAS still going into my RBC account (Bad!!).

Now, I am retired, and growing patient in my old age, but am still as tenacious as ever.

So last Thursday I phoned them back, and was greeted with the standard Press one Press two stuff. I waited until Press six was ended, then pressed zero, “We can’t put you in a queue, we are so busy. Why don’t you hang up and try later. Or visit our web site?”. Although why a passive web page might be a substitute for a Real Live Operator is beyond me.

I tried again later that morning, same result - Bugger off, we’re busy - and then again on Friday. Man these people are BUSY presumably redirecting direct deposits from one bank to another.

I tried again this Tuesday morning. The greeting had changed. They still had the Press one-through-six stuff, but zero got me a message saying that wait times were around ten minutes. I’m retired and have “Mahjong Titans” on my Start menu, so I settled down for a ten-minute game break.

Twelve minutes later I got to speak to an unknown warrior who has been working there long enough to know to slur his name ten feet away from the receiver before getting down to serious business.

I read my summary from my sheet of penciled notes and asked if the OAS could be directed from the RBC to the BMO.

Sure. Not a problem. Can you hold for two minutes?

Sure. Not a problem.

(Clickety-click; tappety-tap, ...)

Done!

Great!

He says “It will take effect on next month’s payment”.

Now the pension comes in at the end of each month, and it’s not clear to me whether he means that the April payment, which comes in at the end of March, will be effected, or whether he means that the end-of-April payment – which is really May’s pension – will be effective.

So I ask for clarification.

No. It can’t be made effective for March 29th; the new deposit will take place at the end of April.

Today is the 8th of March; we KNOW that they have online real-time systems (see “Clickety-click; tappety-tap” above). Why can’t a simple copy-and-paste be done? Why does it take more than 21 days to effect such a simple transaction?

I say Copy-And-Paste because quite obviously they have all the necessary details of the BMO account; the CPP is going there regular as calendarwork.

“Can’t it be done now?”. No. Call back on Monday and ask for “Redirect”.

Huh?

This is why these people are BUSY. Two thirds of them are employed making sure that suckers like me call back another day. Three phone calls to get one simple task effected.

Well, even God can’t get through on a Monday, so I point out that the lines are busy most days, and would it be alright if I can’t get through on Monday and call on Tuesday.

Oh yes; any day you want. Not a problem.

Any day I want? Sure.

OK. How about today? Nope.

Tomorrow? Nope.

Thursday, Friday? Nope.

What is it with these clowns, and what do THEY mean by “any day you want”?

Mongo gets ready to depart with “I guarantee it’ll be in place by the end of April” which is only 49 days away from now. I suspect that the end of April is after Easter.

“Yabbut; your buddy back on November 18th gave me a guarantee that it’d all be done come December, and it wasn’t, so what price your guarantee?”

“I can’t do anything about it”, and he was gone.

I was hoping that he would take the time to ask me if there was anything else he could do for me today.

I had a really good answer to that question.