May Nearly Might!

This is not about Green Cars; you can order your car in whatever color you choose. It is a favorite pastime of mine to admire a car’s paint job and say to myself “I’d like a car that color!”.

The Toronto Star has another ‘fear’ article, sliding people towards a stampede to get-the-deal while it is still on.

“The premier did not have a clear answer on how much the incentive program will cost, but noted it will not last forever”; this is what we in the trade call a ”no-brainer”. Nothing lasts forever (except the laws of physics), no program, no person, no artifact, no mountain.

Two paragraphs down we hit our stride with “ … These vehicles ..., are nearly guaranteed to last 15 to 20 years …”.

In my books, “nearly guaranteed” can be replaced by “not guaranteed”. After all, if something is guaranteed, it is guaranteed. If it is not “guaranteed”, then it is “not guaranteed”.

And if something is “nearly guaranteed to last 15 to 20 years” then it is “NOT guaranteed to last 15 to 20 years”.

You may think this a bit harsh, but note how the phrase “15 to 20 years” sticks in your mind; penultimately “guaranteed”; and fading out of sight “nearly”, which tries to convince you that it is, oh, say 99.99999%.

The truth is probably closer to “We don’t have enough experience to determine the true life value that can be guaranteed”. But the consumer is led to believe that these artifacts will last 15 to 20 years, for sure.

The article is littered with would-be promises: “"It may be through the course of a day when you are plugged in at work to a smart grid, you can draw down electricity from the battery and contribute that to the system of electricity," he said. "You end up being a purchaser and seller of electricity through your electric car."”

Again, the “may be” is at the head of the paragraph, the promise is at the end. Readers are left with the idea of receiving money from Ontario Hydro, just for parking their car during the day and night.

I have doubts about perpetual energy, and I have doubts about monetary gains being made off an artifact that was purchased for non-monetary gains.

I would like to see “may be” quantified, with verified figures of tests showing (a) how much parking is required (b) how frequently and (c) how much electricity is fed back from the car (sorry, I meant to write ‘battery’) and hence (d) how much money is generated.

Come to think of it, if the electricity-generating scam^H^H^H^H scheme is such a good one, why don’t we eliminate the car and just stack a mountain of car batteries in our basement?

I’m off to buy some more shares in lead, and plastic!

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