Saturday, April 11, 2020

German Measles

Do you remember the German Measles parties of our youth?

No, you don’t. Of course you don’t.

Let me tell you about them.

We moved to Southern Cross, in The Yilgarn, Western Australia on my tenth birthday in 1956. I attended primary school there for two and a half years, and from January 1959 until January 1964 was home only for holidays, living away from home for schooling. My memories are thus of 2½ years continuous residence and some 5 years off-and-on.

As the brightest kid in my class, I was seated in the back row with Lynette Hart, Margaret Wesley, and Julie Mincham. The rest of the boys were in the front block where Larry Hunter and then Brian Downes could keep an eye on them. I was of the age where I wanted to keep an eye on the girls, and the girls were beginning to take shape, to coin a phrase.

It was grossly unfair that once or twice a year a girls-only party would be held where Lynette, Margaret, Julie and the rest of girls in that age bracket were herded onto Doctor Peter Finch’s lawn where his wife, Florrie, would serve up ice-cream, cake, ice-cream, cake, ice-cream and cake to a hyper-excited clutch (another good phrase for that time) of young girls who played non-stop games of Postman’s Knock, Tag-and-Hug, and other touchy-feely games.

We lived just two houses away and I sulked on our front lawn wanting to be running around playing touchy-feely games. The cake could come later.

And yes, those resentments are with me still.

They parties were, as you will have worked out by now, German Measles Parties. As soon as Peter Finch detected a case of German Measles he got word out. In an isolated town of 1,500 souls it didn’t take long, and mothers trooped up with their pre-pubescent daughters by the door-slamming car-load.

The girls were exposed to German Measles, contracted German Measles, and were thus rendered immune to German Measles. Years later, when those girls were pregnant, and German Measles came around again, as it did in those days, the girls gave birth to babies that were NOT blind and had NO known recognizable brain defects.

Hooray! For Doctor Peter Finch and his rural colleagues of those times.

Now back to my original question: Do you remember the German Measles parties of our youth? You don’t. And why not? In part because you are younger than I. But mainly because in Australia and other countries, German Measles cannot get a foothold because the bulk of the population is immune.

I have lived and worked around Australia, the United Kingdom, France, Singapore, Canada and the United States of America. That’s lived and worked and does not include vacations to overseas countries and twenty-five years of recreational driving around the USA. My guess is that I have been exposed to German Measles more than a dozen times, and each time after that first exposure, my body has recognized the particular style of brass buttons, peaked caps, and .303 shells and shot the spies without further ado. German measles will never again be carried by me. Or Lynette, Margaret or Julie.

Let’s finish with two easy questions for you.

What are we doing differently today?

Why does anyone who is sane think that today’s procedure will work?

Bibliography: Practically any easy-to-read book by Richard Dawkins, Steven Pinker, or Matt Ridley. You could borrow them through your local library, were the library not closed for the duration. You could look this stuff up on the internet were the café not closed. What price the Information Age?

Late thought: If a new virus, of any form, comes around every month on average, then I have survived 886 viruses since the day of my birth. Which is to say, I am immune to 886 viruses. What’s your score?

Later thought: Probably more than 886; I suspect that some immunity was gained during nine months of using my mother’s blood, but I’m no expert.

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